In Beyond the Binary of Deconstruction and Reconstruction Part Five, the multiverse of self, co hosts, Bonnie, Casey, Jeff, and Rajeev dive into the most uncomfortable and awkward of spaces “the self.”  The work and interview with Debbie Glander is referenced to remind us that our formation (childhood, puberty, adolescence) was not a solo project but many, in trusted positions, had major impacts on who we have become.  Each co-host still feels the lingering stings of being told we were sinful-to-the-core and the profound difficulty that creates when trying to trust oneself. This results in a reduction of the idea of self and a rejection of self as complex.  “It takes a lot of work to become truly oneself.” Bonnie The conversation explores the problems when “trusting self” is claimed in the “alternate facts, anti-vax, crowd;” and the difficulties social media imposes on all people.  Facing the “facts” about why we have come to certain conclusions may be the first real step to self discovery. It is essential for many of us to get professional therapy, not the “christian” counselor in the church basement.  A necessary developmental ingredient is the “deliciousness of adolescence” that many of us in the evangelical/fundamentalist world were denied. How were the decisions you made shaped? A possible way forward isn’t a hollow reclamation of a rebellious youth but instead a wholly-process-of-grieving and of forgiveness of younger selves. Sometimes, the shadow side should be brought forward in order to disperse the controls in place that force us into gender roles and relational dynamics that serve to uphold the toxicity of “men as the head of everything.” A primary fallacy is that the self is fixed. We are not the sum total of our stories. And while Enneagram is helpful to self discovery, we must not be defined by our number. Self is a process, a moment by moment discovery. The journey should reject “conformity equals unity” and lean into respectful conflict between authentic self-moments in order to get anywhere real.  And maybe find things to have gratitude for along the way.  And finally, ever wonder what a “train wreck of a segment” sounds like - take a listen. Each host takes a well known and well loved story and shares a synopsis - the other hosts try to guess the title of the work.  “Dazed and Uncomprehending” is suggested as the title for a handbook on men.  Ya...it’s a mess but an endearing mess. Conversation on Beyond the Binary of Deconstruction and Reconstruction Part Five (02:08)Title Me This Segment (42:21) ANNOUNCEMENTS Sign Up for our Email list HERE and stay up to date on all things Irenicast! Join Casey’s Enneagram Class starting TOMORROW, October 6th at 7pm PT via ZOOM.  This 3-week class is absolutely free, just sign up by emailing Casey at pastor@loomisucc.org. Get Bonnie's New Book - Partnering with God: Exploring Collaboration in Open and Relational Theology!  Can creatures actually partner with God?  This book answers that question... in the affirmative. The responses vary and the proposals provoke new insights. Along the way, the ideas break new ground.  Get Your Copy Today! Intersections is a group of un-fundies and exvangelicals meeting to support each other and process our evolving faith journeys. Facilitated by Bonnie, Casey, Rajeev and Jeff.  Our next session will be Thursdays, February 3rd through March 10th at 7pm PT.  Register today. RELEVANT LINKS From Our Conversation on Beyond the Binary of Deconstruction and Reconstruction Part Five The Series So Far… Beyond the Binary of Deconstruction and Reconstruction Part One – Waking Up – 183 (Part 1 also includes a portion of our interview with Debbie Glander mentioned at the beginning of this episode) Beyond the Binary of Deconstruction and Reconstruction Part Two – Becoming Less Dangerous – 184 Beyond the Binary of Deconstruction and Reconstruction Part Three – Flying Through the Soup On a Treasure Hunt – 185 Beyond the Binary of Deconstruction and Reconstruction Part Four – The Rob Bell is Full of Sh*t Spectrum – 186 Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development What Does Christmas Mean to You? – The Great Birth Narrative Debate – 181 Quanita Roberson – Grief, Healing and Hope – 169 From Our Title Me This Segment Quest of the Highlander by Cynthia Wright  E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982 Film) Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy Love and Death on Long Island (1997 Film) Frankenstein by Mary Shelley  Stand By Me (1986 Film) The Body by Stephen King Twilight by Stephenie Meyer The Song of Lunch (2010 Film) SUPPORT THE SHOW You can always count on Irenicast providing a free podcast on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of every month.  However, that does not mean that we do not have expense related to the show.  If we have provided value to you and you would like to support the show, here are a few options. 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Pastor Casey Martinez-Tinnin, MTS | co-host | casey@irenicast.comYou can follow Casey on Twitter and Facebook, or you can check out his blog The Queerly Faithful Pastor or loomisucc.org Jeff Manildi | co-founder, producer & co-host | jeff@irenicast.comFollow Jeff (@JeffManildi) on facebook, instagram & twitter.  You can also listen to Jeff’s other podcast Divine Cinema. Rev. Rajeev Rambob, MCL | co-host | rajeev@irenicast.comYou can connect with Rajeev at Parkside Community Church,  Facebook, Twitter, Medium, LinkedIn, and Haystacks Podcast.   ADD YOUR VOICE TO THE CONVERSATION Join our progressive Christian conversations on faith and culture by interacting with us through the following links: Read Us on our blog Irenicon Email Us at podcast@irenicast.comFollow Us on Twitter Like Us on Facebook Listen & Subscribe to Us on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Android, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeart Radio, Spreaker, Pandora and SoundCloud Speak to Us on our Feedback Page and the Post Evangelical Facebook Group See Us on Instagram Support Us on PayPal, Amazon or at our Store Love Us? CREDITS Intro and Outro music created by Mike Golin. 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