episode 42: when do I get a life? with Kathi When your loved one has dementia and can't be left alone, and you are the only caregiver, it can leave you asking the big question, When do I get a life?    Listen in as we discuss   Letting go of driving  Mild cognitive impairment Ice cream and the pandemic Siblings and caregiving  Caring for parents vs caring for children  China and traveling out of country Parent daycare   Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present and fear the future - Kathi's favorite Stoic quote from Seneca   Links  Kathi's Instagram Ice Cream with Mom  Kathi's TikTok Ice Cream with Mom Lani's website Caregiving Philosophy Lani's Instagram Caregiving Philosophy Free Will - the newsletter for caregiver inner peace   Listen & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much! xoxo Lani

Death is something people aren’t comfortable talking about. Lucky for you, Jess and I aren’t those people.  I dive right in and ask Jess the biggest caregiver question of all, “Are you ready for your mom to die?”    Listen in as we discuss   Long-distance caregiving challenges and stress  Caregiving toll on the caregivers  Dealing with anxiety through self-awareness and meditation  How people that stress you out the most can be your greatest teachers  The negative voice inside your head  Grief, legacy planning, and death doula work  The challenges of caring for loved ones with dementia   “It’s an individual journey in a group setting” - Jess from Alzheimer’s Awakening    Links  Jess’ Instagram Alzheimers_Awakening  Jess’ Substack Alzheimer’s Awakening  Lani's Website Caregiving Philosophy Lani's Instagram Caregiving Philosophy Untethered Soul by Michael Singer  Going with Grace Free Will, the newsletter for caregiver inner peace   Listen & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much! xoxo Lani

It's difficult to watch a parent die. It's much more frustrating when the doctor says your parent has been cured from cancer, but they decide to give up on living anyway.    "She didn't want to be helped. And then to watch somebody, like, give up like that was just really hard."  Melissa   Listen in as we discuss   How parent's can be selfish when it comes to caregiving  The different way siblings react Putting off one's life to wait for parents to die The one thing you wish your mother would do on her deathbed How to make it easier on children after you die Leaving a memoir The benefit of having someone to talk to   Melissa's favorite philosophy quote: “It’s okay to live a life others don’t understand.” - Jenna Woginrich   Links  Melissa's website The Prosperous Photographer Melissa's Instagram Wandering Missy Lani's website Caregiving Philosophy Lani's Instagram Caregiving Philosophy Free Will - the newsletter for caregiver inner peace   Listen & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much! xoxo Lani

Do you know, we're allowed to feel "good enough" whenever we choose? Yep, it's a choice we can freely make. In this episode, I share a personal story of a challenging moment at dinner the day before my father died of dementia. Caregiving is mentally hard, and we have to understand how this takes a toll. Having self-compassion for the way we and others act and react is a necessary ingredient for peace of mind. xoxo Lani   PS Check out Free Will. The newsletter for caregiver who want to enjoy caregiving. It's 5 minutes that can change your life. Want to ask me about coaching? email me at lani@caregivingphilosophy.com Want to know more about me? Here you go. Connect with me on Instagram. That would be awesome.   Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode. Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much!

Do we have free will? That's one of those philosophical questions that I never even thought about before a friend of mine insisted that the future is fixed. Then I looked into the research and, low and behold, Einstein himself thought the future is fixed. This is actually a widely held theory of physics. Listen as I discuss this idea as it relates to caregiving and decide what you think. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani    Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.

It's often hard to calm our own minds when we're in panic mode. Sometimes we freak out. Sometimes it takes a calming word from a friend or even a stranger. Listen to what worked for me. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Do you talk or text? Texts are the mode of communication with my family when I'm out of state caregiving. My husband and I also send lots of photos back and forth. Listen to see what kind of steamy texts we like to give each other. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

My cousin is missing. Lost among the thousands of others in the tragic fire in Lahaina, Maui 5 days ago. Wishing everyone peace as we figure out the way forward.   I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Did you know it's possible to choose to live in a Perfect World? Yes, it is. And, it's a wonderful place to be. Listen up and I'll show you how.  I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani     Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

I just want to die! Not words that you want to hear when you're a caregiver. Because, caregiving is hard. No matter the circumstances. It's especially hard to tell the difference between when you're actually needed and when it's ok to take time for yourself. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Ever wonder how to have the best life ever? Well, I've got 6 great tips for you right here. To you on my 60th birthday. I hope they serve you well.   I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Sometimes you just have to remember what life is all about. You live and you die. And, hopefully have the most wonderful ride in between. Wishing you the best.   I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

I think it's a rare family that gets through life without family drama. Because humans think thoughts - good and bad thoughts about other people. That's ok. What hurts is holding on to those thoughts.     I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Want to know the beauty of multi-generational caregiving? It's finding the little sentimental treasures and remembering them and bringing them to mind during life's not so fun moments. The more you practice, the better you get.     I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.

What does it feel like when a parent dies? I'm sure that's as unique as each individual. Here's my viewpoint after 5 days.   I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

How did this happen so fast? my mom asked I suppose, the end is always too fast. The time with your loved one is too short. There's never enough time.   I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Did you know you can always start over again? Yep. You can begin again. You can have a do-over. It's never too late.   I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Do you like to be early, right on time, or late? I'm probably the way I am because my mother is the way she is. Does your punctuality run in the family?   I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani   Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Sometimes things that make us So Sad aren't really useful things to be sad about. Here's my take on the situation. I hope you have a day like ukulele man.     Take care, xoxo Lani     Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.  

Are you unknowingly speaking in ways that cause shame? Here are a few ideas to know whether you are. Because shame is never a fun place to be.     Take care, xoxo Lani     Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much.